Now this post might sound a bit weird at first but this year so far has been really enlightening for me as a person. I’m not going to drone on for ages and try to be all poetic and emotional but I think Kylie Jenner was on to something in 2016 when she said ‘I feel like this year is about like…realising stuff’. That is what this year has been for me so far.
My life is very organised, not aggressively where I have certain days for washing clothes, food shopping and showering etc but I am an organised person. My clothes are organised in outfits, shoes are organised based on how often I wear them and my kitchen/bathroom is a joke. Because my life is so organised within my flat it can be quite overwhelming keeping everything outside my home so perfect.
Recently I was going through the pictures on my old memory sticks and not to shame my old self but holy hell did I keep a lot of crap. I had 7 full memory sticks and labelled and full to the last megabyte with pictures from different occasions, trips and years. I went through every single one and deleted all of the data from 6/7 of the memory sticks! Not because I was having a breakdown but because the were memories/pictures I had saved just because I thought I had to save them. But I don’t. So I deleted all my old pictures of friends, school, parties when I went to at 13 and loads more. Not because I want to act like they never happened but because I didn’t need to hold onto them anymore.
If you’re still reading I bet you’re like ‘okay Melissa where the hell are you going with this’ and I’m going to now tell you what I mean. Creating my dream life is, for me, about letting go of the past, things that don’t matter and making sure that I make my future about me, things I want to do and who I want to be. I no longer wish to waste my time keeping things because I feel obligated to: friends, clothes, pictures, bus tickets from 7 years ago because I convinced myself it was cool to keep them and all that jazz.
Going to university changed my life, it changed who I was, who I wanted to be and who I had around me. The biggest change was in myself and it’s taken me until now to realise my worth and to notice that maybe keeping crap I don’t need and deep down makes me sad/anxious, isn’t the smartest idea. From now on I choose who I let into my life. I choose when I go out. I choose what food I have in my fridge and these things make me so happy.
My dream life consists of me, finding a job that makes me happy and is more than a career, making more time for people who make time for me and eating a little bit better. This past week has been real and taking some time off to organise myself has really helped me.
So far, so good and I hope to make lots of positive changes for the future. I hope maybe someone will read this and think more about what they’re doing and if it makes them happy. If not, then how can you change small things to make your life everything you hoped it one day would be – Melissa